The following is a list of books written by Steven Wright that are available nowhere:
• Phyllis and Her Eyelids: The story of a man living in a semi-parallel universe who is arrested for inventing hockey.
• The Rats and The Scum: History of politicians.
• The Slut and The Monkey: The history of marriage.
• Skip the Wonder Horse: Set in the late 1600’s in Holland. The story of a homosexual race horse that can see into the future.
• The Chinese Envelope: Set during the Ming Dynasty. The story of an all-girl school made entirely of mirrors.
• Daddy’s Under My Bed: The story of a 90 year old still-born butler who’s in love with his own shadow.
• Freud: The story of an insane old man with way too much influence.
• Jesus and Santa Claus: The story of two middleweight boxers in Berlin in the early 1900’s.
• The Carnival Man: The history of the world if time didn’t exist.
• Pretty Girls: The story of the end of all civilizations and why evolution is a mistake.
• Stanley and the Magic Penny: Hitler’s life story if he’d never been born, seen through the eyes of Dorothy Hamill.
• The Tall Blue Cloud: The story of a Cajun menu that tries to take over the world.